Follow your heart. Is it a truth or lie?

So I’ve been thinking lately and this phrase is one of which I am not too fond of.  Have you ever heard the phrase follow your heart?  I have, and I am sure you have too.  I have a few things to say about this phrase and why I personally disagree with it.  First of all it literally means to do what seems right to you.  Obviously what seems right is not always right for another person,  but beyond that there is a fine line between right and wrong.  To do something which seems right leaves a huge opening to do what ever you want without any consequences or guilt on your part.  To me to so something which seems right makes me feel insecure and unaware of what is truly going to happen.  We as humans are not animals we do not do things by instinct.  Animals do things by instinct. Humans do things because they deliberately  chose to do so.   We have a conscience of what to do when it comes to right and wrong. We have a free will and a mind that God has given us to make decisions.  To follow your heart is a very emotional phrase, and like the wind, emotions change constantly.  I never tell my children to follow their heart but rather I prepare them for life and let them chose on the principles  of what they have been taught. They have every right to chose what principles to accept or reject.    The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 The HEART is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it?  In other words, the heart can not be trusted based on emotions to make a decision.  If you live your life by doing this, you will end up being insecure,disappointed, bitter, and even resentful. You will live a life covered by  your emotions. Dealing with reality will become harder and if you do what seems right to you, you will become insecure. Can you honestly be truthful with yourself and know what you are doing right is based on emotions?That is how people lie to themselves. People are filled with deceit, lies, and unrealistic expectations..  How can you put your trust in your heart and emotions to make decisions?  You can’t.  So what do you do?   Well you do what is most unnatural and that is making decisions on principles rather then emotions. I say it is unnatural because emotions are so easy to hide behind.  I believe that if you make a decision based on a principle that you have chosen for your life, then the emotions of that principle will follow it.   You can’t make a decision on emotion and expect a good principle to come out of it.  It doesn’t work that way, that is a backwards way of thinking. It’s great to be emotional about something, but emotions persuade you lie to yourself in many cases.I don’t want to be a person who lies to myself or covers my life by decisions based solely on emotions that I thought were from my heart. The emotions that come from my  heart are the results of the decisions I have made conscientiously based on principles.  I love the fact that I can base my life on the principles that God has set aside in his word.   Living by principle is not easy in a world full of emotional based people.  It’s not like I am unemotional,but emotions do not play a huge part in making my decisions. I never follow my heart because  the Bible says the heart is deceitful. I have personally chosen to follow God’s principles for my life, and trust me I have never been disappointed in that choice.  So yeah I believe with out a doubt that the phrase ,Follow your heart is deceitful and misleading.  Don’t follow your heart but rather chose what is right based on the principles you have chosen for your life.  That will bring you a life filled with no regrets.

Why?, “Because I’m the Mom and I said so.”

I  hear this phrase used a lot and it really bothers me.This is why, and why it got me thinking about how I talk to my own children.  Joe and I are not perfect parents by any means, but we do not take talking to our children in any old fashion lightly.  We as parents are responsible for  the up bringing of our children so they can reach their potential for God one day.  If you do not prepare your child in the way he ought to be prepared, then when he has become of age to do things on his own,,he or she will not do it because they will be so used to you telling them what or what not to do. You will have made them to become insecure  and indecisive irresponsible adults. Let me explain.Parenting is like a carpenter.  If the carpenter does not have the right tools to do the job he won’t be able to do his job correctly.  It doesn’t matter how much he went to school for training, but if he does not have the right tools then he won’t be able to perform what he has been taught.  Joe and I not only need to train our children to do right, but we as parents must provide them withe  the right tools.  What are the right tools you ask?  Well the tools are the experiences your child goes through and how you as a parent handle them.  When your child ask a question just don’t cop out and say, “No, or I said so, or Because I’m the parent.” But rather, let them ask questions about the situation, let them think things through, let them come to the conclusion why or why not they did or didn’t do what they were suppose to do.  My children are always asking why.  They are not disrespectful  when they ask it either.  If they are genuinely wanting to know something, then Joe and I have done or set, I will either ask them questions to let them come to the conclusion of what they have asked, or we will explain it to them as  best as we know how if it is above their understanding.  We as adults have to answer questions for ourselves every day. but it all starts when we are children. If as children we are used to just hearing the words, No, Because I said so, or go away, you’re bothering me, then a child will become deaf to parental knowledge and the ability to make their own decisions when they are in a situation where they must make their own decision.  You are not doing your child justice by always pushing them away and acting like they are annoying. The one who is truly being annoyed, is YOU.  Yes being a mom and dad is time consuming, and even inconvenient, but when we decided to have children we knew it was going to be a huge investment with our time and life.  So instead of just telling our children WHAT to do, let them figure it out and let them be thinkers.  Yes, set the boundaries, make the rules, but when they are broken don’t just yell or say ,”You’re in trouble, or You’re getting a spanking.”,  but rather, sit down with them and talk it out and if you have to go over the rules that you have set for then, then take the time and do it.  You must start this when your child is very young, lets say as soon as they show they have independence.  yes, that means when they begin to crawl. You say, they don’t understand, but they do.  We baby our babies too much that when the time comes to get serious they have already chosen to cross the line because they know they can because we allowed them to.  Don’t let your child cross the line, let him know where it is and clearly let him know if he crosses it there will be consequences to follow.  This is why Joe and I never used the counting system, or give our children a choice when it comes to rules.  Rules are to be made and kept, not negotiated or reasoned with.  If they have a sincere question about the rule, then by all means we explain it to them in such a way they can understand, but they do not get the authority to set the standards.  When you go work for a company or business you don’t set the rules or policies, but rather you do your job to the best ability as you can.  If you have a wise employer and you have questions, then they will work with you and try their best to explain things that may not be understood to you, but you as an employee do not get to make the rules  .   Like parenting, you get the privileged  of setting rules and bounders, but you must also take the responsibility and invest in the time it takes to keep those rules and bounders.  Don’t just set them and expect your child to keep them.  You must enforce them and be consistent.  If that means taking time away from the tv, computer, or whatever else you are doing, then do it, but do it right and don’t yell, or treat them harshly.  Like the Bible says, Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.  Training doesn’t mean just teaching, but it also means to instruct, to live, and to be the example you would want your child to grow up to be. It means to listen, to watch, to demonstrate, and to answer questions. After training is done, a child will  have to face the situation of obeying or disobeying.  If you have taught him properly, yes he will disobey still, but when faced with the consequences he will know what to expect.  If he obeys he will not only feel good about making the right decision but he will know WHY he made the right decision and when temptation comes along again, he will chose right.   Some things are taught by teaching,but most is taught by how we as parents react, live, and treat our children.  So this is why Joe and I never use the phrase, “I said, so, or NO.”.  I leave you with this Bible verse,”The rod and reproof gives wisdom,  but a child left to himself bringeth his mother shame.  Don’t be a parent who just sets all the rules, but rather, take the time to enforce the  standards and rules.  Don’t be a parent who cops out and just says, “because I said so, or no.”  Be a parent who rears their child  with love , respect, and kindness to not only others but also to themselves..  I grantee you, you won’t be sorry.  I’m not, and I am glad that God has given me great principles I can use to teach not only me how to be a good parent, but my children how to be good citizens and not bring shame on themselves. nor God.  I love my children very much, but I know they are not always going to be mine to keep.  Joe and I made a promise long before ever having children that when we did we would do our best to rear them for God and for His glory.  What my children do with their lives is up to them, but like the carpenter, I want to give my children the right tools to be able to reach their full potential in their lives and for God.

By the way when my children were very young under age 3 we didn’t reason with them we set boundaries, and enforced the rules. We were consistent.  We still have rules and such  but now that the children are older and have a respect for rules and boundaries, we can talk about them like mature adults.  But sadly a lot of adults can’t  even have a mature conversation about rules and boundaries, because they were never taught to do so as a child.  Doesn’t mean they can’t learn, they just don’t have the right tools to do so at the moment.

A New Beginning.

32 years have gone and past. I just can’t believe how fast time flies by.  Literally 32 years ago today I was brought from South Korea to the United States.  From what I was told it was an 18 hour flight.  When I arrived I was wearing a  brown and green sweater and sweater pants that matched.  I also had a very bright pink sweater that I also wore.  I arrived at O-Hare International Airport in the evening..  My Mom, my oldest brother, and my grandma came to welcome me that night.  I can’t imagine how I felt or I saw for the very first time. I was only 22 month of age at the time.  If I remember correctly, my grandma held me all the way home to my new house.  My mom had to drive, so she couldn’t hold me quite then.  I can imagine though when we got home she held me tight and made me feel secure.  I do have a funny memory to share. When I got home, I was told I was very hungry, because when I saw that there was bread sitting on the table, I went to it and ate up.  LOL   I don’t  recall a lot about my life those first few months of my life, but I do know that I was loved, and that I had a special place in my parents heart, and in my extended families hearts as well.  I am so grateful to have been adopted those 32 years ago.  Thank you Mom and Dad for making me one of your own, I am well loved and cherished by those who know me and who love me.  Because of the love my parents had for me, I was able to become a Christian, marry a wonderful husband, and have a beautiful family I now call my own.  I have overcome a lot of obstacles  in my life and I have learned to love and be loved by many. Being adopted has been one of the most wonderful events in my life, besides becoming a Christian, and having a family of my own.  God has been good to me and I am most grateful for His love and kindness. So yeah, March,20th 1980 was definitely was a new beginning in my life.

“I can die as fast as possible, or I can live a brilliant life.”

” I can die as fast as possible or I can live a brilliant life.”

What an amazing and inspiring quote.  So what exactly does that mean to you?  For me it means I can either feel sorry for myself or live my life to the fullest and be content with how God created me.  I sometimes get very discouraged with being an Albino and with being legally blind.  I am not one to feel sorry for myself on a regular basis but I am human and yes, I do get discouraged because I can’t see as well as others.  However, there  are people out there that wish the only thing they had to deal with is being seeing impaired.  Quotes like the one I stated  above  reminds us of how grateful we should be and how we should make the best of our lives.What does it mean to make the best of ourselves?  To me it simply means to take what God has given you and use it for His Glory and Honor. I can only speak for myself,  however, there were times in my life when  I just didn’t think God could use me.  I had to realize that it was not me that could accomplish anything on my own, but only by God’s grace and mercy that I could do anything.   We are all in the same boat, just because I may not know what you may experience doesn’t mean that you are enduring more hardship then me.  It just means that each and everyone of us has a  different story to write, and fulfill.  We can either sit and stare at our life and never put anything in our  book of life, or we can go out and live our lives and accomplish things that not only please God, but also at the same time  be an encouragement to those around us.  We do not live our lives unto ourselves, we effect anyone we come within contact.  I am not an amazing person but I want to live an amazing life.  Therefore I will live my life brilliantly.  How about you?  Will you live your life brilliantly or just die fast? No one can make that choice for you, only you can.   So make the right one today.