So as most of you now know Joe and I are taking ten dollars a day and buying the next day meals and snacks for our family of 4. Yes it has been interesting and challenging for sure but it has made me realize that food is wasted a lot in our lives. It either just sits on our shelves taking up space or rots in the fridge. I for one am not too wasteful of my food, but having us shop on a daily basis has made me realize how little or how much we truly eat. I am enjoying our adventure if that is what you want to call it, but more then that I am enjoying the challenge of our needs being met on such little money. We gave a lot of food to the local food pantry that was not being used in our house. As far as the cold and frozen food, I do not stock much up on that. Now that I only buy what I absolutely need, food is not being wasted like before. My kids are getting used to the adjustment and they are realizing that being picky about food is not a choice anymore. At least not like it was before. I don’t have the money to cater to their picky ways anymore. LOL But the good thing is that they are trying new foods and they are now realizing that just because they have not tried it in the past doesn’t mean it is not tasty. Buying food on a daily basis for the next day also has taught me to be more thoughtful of my meal planning. If I have any food left over from the previous day then I use it for the next day menu. It is a lot of fun but a lot more planning involved. I am not one to make food that is premade in a box or can. I try my best to make meals that are semi homemade or from scratch. As Joe and I continue this journey together I am praying that the deals we find each day will be for our needs and good for our health. So far it is looking that way.
Tag Archive: love
I hear this phrase used a lot and it really bothers me.This is why, and why it got me thinking about how I talk to my own children. Joe and I are not perfect parents by any means, but we do not take talking to our children in any old fashion lightly. We as parents are responsible for the up bringing of our children so they can reach their potential for God one day. If you do not prepare your child in the way he ought to be prepared, then when he has become of age to do things on his own,,he or she will not do it because they will be so used to you telling them what or what not to do. You will have made them to become insecure and indecisive irresponsible adults. Let me explain.Parenting is like a carpenter. If the carpenter does not have the right tools to do the job he won’t be able to do his job correctly. It doesn’t matter how much he went to school for training, but if he does not have the right tools then he won’t be able to perform what he has been taught. Joe and I not only need to train our children to do right, but we as parents must provide them withe the right tools. What are the right tools you ask? Well the tools are the experiences your child goes through and how you as a parent handle them. When your child ask a question just don’t cop out and say, “No, or I said so, or Because I’m the parent.” But rather, let them ask questions about the situation, let them think things through, let them come to the conclusion why or why not they did or didn’t do what they were suppose to do. My children are always asking why. They are not disrespectful when they ask it either. If they are genuinely wanting to know something, then Joe and I have done or set, I will either ask them questions to let them come to the conclusion of what they have asked, or we will explain it to them as best as we know how if it is above their understanding. We as adults have to answer questions for ourselves every day. but it all starts when we are children. If as children we are used to just hearing the words, No, Because I said so, or go away, you’re bothering me, then a child will become deaf to parental knowledge and the ability to make their own decisions when they are in a situation where they must make their own decision. You are not doing your child justice by always pushing them away and acting like they are annoying. The one who is truly being annoyed, is YOU. Yes being a mom and dad is time consuming, and even inconvenient, but when we decided to have children we knew it was going to be a huge investment with our time and life. So instead of just telling our children WHAT to do, let them figure it out and let them be thinkers. Yes, set the boundaries, make the rules, but when they are broken don’t just yell or say ,”You’re in trouble, or You’re getting a spanking.”, but rather, sit down with them and talk it out and if you have to go over the rules that you have set for then, then take the time and do it. You must start this when your child is very young, lets say as soon as they show they have independence. yes, that means when they begin to crawl. You say, they don’t understand, but they do. We baby our babies too much that when the time comes to get serious they have already chosen to cross the line because they know they can because we allowed them to. Don’t let your child cross the line, let him know where it is and clearly let him know if he crosses it there will be consequences to follow. This is why Joe and I never used the counting system, or give our children a choice when it comes to rules. Rules are to be made and kept, not negotiated or reasoned with. If they have a sincere question about the rule, then by all means we explain it to them in such a way they can understand, but they do not get the authority to set the standards. When you go work for a company or business you don’t set the rules or policies, but rather you do your job to the best ability as you can. If you have a wise employer and you have questions, then they will work with you and try their best to explain things that may not be understood to you, but you as an employee do not get to make the rules . Like parenting, you get the privileged of setting rules and bounders, but you must also take the responsibility and invest in the time it takes to keep those rules and bounders. Don’t just set them and expect your child to keep them. You must enforce them and be consistent. If that means taking time away from the tv, computer, or whatever else you are doing, then do it, but do it right and don’t yell, or treat them harshly. Like the Bible says, Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Training doesn’t mean just teaching, but it also means to instruct, to live, and to be the example you would want your child to grow up to be. It means to listen, to watch, to demonstrate, and to answer questions. After training is done, a child will have to face the situation of obeying or disobeying. If you have taught him properly, yes he will disobey still, but when faced with the consequences he will know what to expect. If he obeys he will not only feel good about making the right decision but he will know WHY he made the right decision and when temptation comes along again, he will chose right. Some things are taught by teaching,but most is taught by how we as parents react, live, and treat our children. So this is why Joe and I never use the phrase, “I said, so, or NO.”. I leave you with this Bible verse,”The rod and reproof gives wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother shame. Don’t be a parent who just sets all the rules, but rather, take the time to enforce the standards and rules. Don’t be a parent who cops out and just says, “because I said so, or no.” Be a parent who rears their child with love , respect, and kindness to not only others but also to themselves.. I grantee you, you won’t be sorry. I’m not, and I am glad that God has given me great principles I can use to teach not only me how to be a good parent, but my children how to be good citizens and not bring shame on themselves. nor God. I love my children very much, but I know they are not always going to be mine to keep. Joe and I made a promise long before ever having children that when we did we would do our best to rear them for God and for His glory. What my children do with their lives is up to them, but like the carpenter, I want to give my children the right tools to be able to reach their full potential in their lives and for God.
By the way when my children were very young under age 3 we didn’t reason with them we set boundaries, and enforced the rules. We were consistent. We still have rules and such but now that the children are older and have a respect for rules and boundaries, we can talk about them like mature adults. But sadly a lot of adults can’t even have a mature conversation about rules and boundaries, because they were never taught to do so as a child. Doesn’t mean they can’t learn, they just don’t have the right tools to do so at the moment.
Adoption what does that exactly mean to you? When you hear that word, what does that do to your heart and soul? For me adoption means to love and cherish a person who was not your own, as if they were your own right from the beginning. Here is a story and this what I have learned from it.
My son when he was 3 came to me and asked me if he could have a pet. I told him that I had no problem with getting one,but we needed to make sure a few things were set in order before we could just go run out and get one. I asked him what he wanted and he told me he wanted a fish. I explained to him that taking care of a fish is a big responsibility and that when we get one he would have to care for it, feed it, and clean his tank. At 3, he of course didn’t understand what responsibility was but he knew that all he wanted was a fish. Lucky for us at the time, we lived in an apartment where we couldn’t have pets. So I told him this, and he understood, but deep down he still wanted that fish. 3 years later in fact, this past Christmas, he came to us again and asked if he could have a fish. I then again, told him how he would have to care for it, feed it and clean his tank. He told me he was ready to be responsible and was ready to have his own pet. So on Christmas Day he opened his gifts and his last one was a 15 gallon fish tank filled with all the accessories for the caring of a fish. He was so excited. In fact that night his daddy and him prepared the tank so we could go to the pet store the next day to purchase his new fish. They took a few hours of preparation to make sure the water was just right, the rocks were washed and clean, the filter all set to go, and his little fish plants all set in the perfect spot, for is new fish. The next day we went to the pet store and he went right over to all the fish tanks to pick out his special fish. He looked and looked and finally he spotted the one he wanted. It was a white and orange goldfish. He was so excited to know that this was gonna be his new best friend. He then decided he was going to name him Dan Dan. We brought Dan Dan home and we set him in his new tank of water. However we didn’t just plop him in there. We kept him in his small plastic water bag that he came in and set it in the tank. He was able to look around and see what his new surroundings were going to be like without feeling intimidated or shocked by the change of the water temperature.. We then slowly added the tank water into his plastic fish bag that he came in. Then after about an hour we let him loose n the tank and he swam around as if he had lived there his entire fish life. As the days passed, my son and his daddy worked together and his Daddy taught my son how to care, clean, and feed Dan Dan. Dan Dan soon realized that my son loved him very much not only by just caring for him but by also paying attention to him. My son loves his goldfish, and yes there are days when he doesn’t want to help clean his tank, but he knows if Dan Dan wants to be happy he must take good care of him even if means cleaning out his tank. Caring for a fish may not be such a bug deal in an adult’s life , but to a little 6 year old boy, it is a huge responsibility and something of which he will remember for the rest of his life. My son loves his goldfish as if Dan Dan was always a part of his life. If anything should ever happen to his goldfish I know for a fact it would tear his heart in two. Not only for the reason he has invested his time, but he has loved Dan Dan right from the very moment he knew Dan Dan was going to be a part of his life.
So this is what I’ve learned from this story about being adopted.
1. Not everyone is expected or should adopt children. If you can’t adopt it doesn’t mean you are not as good as your neighbor or friend who can adopt. I know many people who want to adopt, but just can’t. For whatever reason they chose not to, one must never judge them. I think that a lot of children are adopted because one may feel sorry for the child or they feel obligated. If this is how you feel, I suggest highly that you wait and seek counsel before ever letting a child into your life that you may not be ready for. Adoption is a Choice, and a choice that must be made very seriously. Like owning a pet, not everyone can or should own one.
2. For those who can and will adopt, I congratulate you. I think that adoption is a wonderful choice. I know of many loving people who have adopted children. I also sadly know a few who were adopted by people who fell in the former category above.
3. When adopting one must be as prepared as they can for the change that will not only happen in their lives, but also in the lives of the child or children they are adopting. Like my son when he wanted a fish he just wanted to run out and get one not knowing how to care for it, feed it, and such. He was ready to love it, and give his heart to it, but the knowing how to nurture it was something he didn’t know how to handle. I think depending on the situation one must be as educated as possible when it comes to bringing in another child into your life. Do not be afraid to ask for help or get involved in a support group. Like my son, he could not care for his fish on his own at first, but with the help of his father he was able to learn how to care for the needs of is fish. Likewise, many parents who adopt could use the help from others who have adopted before. When we become parents we all want to be the best parent ever, but sometimes being a good parent means getting help when you know you can’t do it all on your own. Don’t be too proud to get help, we all need help sometime in our lives.
4. An adopted child needs space and time to adjust to his new surroundings. I was adopted from Korea and even though I was only 22 months of age, I still experienced culture shock. I had attachment adjustment disorder. I couldn’t handle the sudden change of my environment and I just had terrible time adjusting and getting along. I had to learn a new language, eat new food, hear new sounds, and be in a strange place where I never step foot into. I was scared and lost. The only thing I wanted was security. So be prepared for culture shock not only for you, but also for your child. Like my son when we purchased his fish we gave it time to adjust to his new tank and surroundings. We had to let him know he was safe and secure. If we would have just plopped him in the tank he probably would have died. Children need to know they are safe, secure, and loved.
5. A child who is adopted wants to be loved, not smothered. My parents told me as long as I could remember that I was special and that I was adopted. I don’t mind that they did this, but in some ways I felt smothered by the fact that they had gone out of their way to chose me and love me when they didn’t have to. I always knew that I was loved, but when an adopted child hears that all the time, it kind of does the opposite effect on them and they tend to feel like their parents are trying to hard, and the expectations are different from other family members if there are any. I love the fact that I am adopted and such, but growing up, sometimes I wish that my parents didn’t make such a big fuss about it. I know they meant well, but perhaps since maybe they thought I was insecure, they had to remind me that I was loved and specially chosen. My mom is a wonderful lady and for her to love me when no one else did was a great love that only few will ever understand and experience. I am forever grateful to her for choosing me out of all the children in the world she could have adopted. I want to make her proud ,but honestly I am her daughter and she should know that I love her just as much back. She always told me that in her eyes from the time she received the phone call about me, I was loved right then.
My son loves his goldfish but he doesn’t smother him to death. LOL Dan Dan knows he is loved by my son and trust my son to care for him feed him, and give him special little treats. However, my son doesn’t hover over his tank continuously and try to hold onto him and not let Dan Dan be what he wants to be He’s just a member of the family.
6. Lastly, my final advise is to just treat your child with love and respect. Your child will know they are adopted sooner or later. Whether you tell them or another family member does, they will have lots of questions and such. I did, and I still do . However, be supportive of your child and let them ask questions. If they want to search for their biological family let them, It’s not because they don’t love you , it’s simply because they want closure and answers. I understand this, because as a child I wanted to know as much as possible about my beginnings,my Korean culture, why I was the way I was. Of course there wasn’t much to know but I wanted to be able to go through all the options of finding out what I could. If a parent discourages their child to do so then it will only cause the child to look into it even more, because they feel as if you are tying to hide something, when in fact you may not be hiding anything at all. It may make you feel insecure to know your child is curious, but trust me, they still love you and always will. Instead I suggest telling your child that yes you love them and if they want to find out more about their biological past then you support them. Your child wanting to know about their past doesn’t mean they hate you or want to disown you. Love doesn’t have to be biological, but knowing where you came from and who gave birth to you and why they gave you up for adoption is important to the one who is adopted. Trust me I know, and so do my other friends who have been adopted. I know I may never know who my biological family may be, and I am fine with that, but at the same time I wan to be able on my own know that I did everything I could to find out about them. Of course being adopted from another country is much harder to locate your biologic family, but with the technology we have today, it makes it much easier. And by the way, I as of now, know nothing about my biological family. I’ve done what I could and I am satisfied with what I’ve done. My faith in God lets me be at peace and if I do find anything in the future, I will be ready no matter what the situation may be. If I die not knowing then it wasn’t meant to be, but I am not obsessed with it either. I’ve done my best, so hang the rest. LOL
I hope you enjoyed my blog today, and I hope those who are adopted understand where I am coming from. For those who want to adopt I hope this also helps you to understand how those like myself feel about adoption. I can’t speak for everyone who has been adopted, but I know for all of us who have been adopted we do share similar feelings. Please comment on what you think and let me know how you feel about your adoption I’d be interested what you have learned from the experience too. If you are adopting please let me know what you thought of this blog and let me know if it helped you.
Today I will talk on the subject of being an albino. People around me ask, so what’s it like to have albinism? Some people think that albinism is a race, lol, I used to get that a lot as a child in school. Kids would be like, are you from Albania? I’d tell them no, that I was Korean and then they laugh at me and say , What you are from Crayon? I guess I had a pretty strong Asian accent in elementary school. Anyhow, so what’s it like being me. Well to be honest I just have to be careful when I decide to go outside when it is above 68 degrees. When this happens I wear sun screen and a sun hat. I also wear prescription sunglasses. I do not use a walking stick nor do I have a seeing eye dog. I have enough eye sight that I am too proud to use those things as of now. Perhaps one day if I must I will. My eyes are very light sensitive and I have gone to great measures to protect them. It all started as a child when my parents made sure they got me the best glasses they could find for me. They took me to low vision specialist all the time growing up. I also wear glasses inside. I have bifocals to help me read fine print, although now that I am older, it doesn’t seem to help too much. I think my eyes may be getting a little worse with age. My eye sight is corrected to 20-80 with glasses and without them it’s 20-400. I am near sighted and I can actually see things a far off and not have them be blurry. I also have nystagmus which means my eyes move back and forth uncontrollably http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nystagmus I also have a bit of a astigmatism. I have very little peripheral vision and little depth perception. I have to hold things close to read . I am what they consider legally blind. my eye sight can not be corrected because of the damage that has been done to the optic nerve. It’s complicated, but hey, that’s me.
I don’t have difficult time getting around in familiar territory but when I am in a new surrounding I get a little nervous, especially if it s outside. I depend very much on my sense of hearing, and smell. I know that sounds funny because I can see, but when you are visually impaired those other senses still make up for the lack of me being blind. I also color coordinate things all the time, put things in size order, and have a clutter free home. I do not consider myself disable simply because I can do for myself and I can live independently without any assistance. I think I may be over exaggerating a little because I have a husband who helps me out more then I know. I can not drive, and I can not read fine print on my own. so finding a job is almost impossible. My husband goes out of his way to make sure things are read to me out loud and holds my hand when we are walking in a parking lot, or crossing the street. My children help me too with a lot of things if I can ‘t see something. I sometimes have to swallow my pride and ask for help and just be up front and tell people I am visually impaired. I get embarrassed easily over my lack of eyesight, but for the most part I’m okay with it. I am sure those who know me and have been around me know that I am visually impaired And by the way, I do appreciate those who do know me personally don’t make a big deal of it either. That means a lot to me. More then you know.I do not make a big deal of being legally blind, but I don’t mind telling people the truth if they need to know or want to know on their terms. I however,hate it when people feel sorry for me or treat me like I am disable or something
If you are wondering if I was made fun of as a child, the answer is yes. I simply think it was because when a child see’s someone who is different they don’t know how to react to the situation. I mean if I saw an albino for the first time, I am sure I would have lots of questions to ask. However, when you live with a condition you sometimes put yourself in a bubble of protection and become offended by anyone who may want to sincerely know about your situation. At least that is what I did. I was very insecure and uncomfortable with my being an Albino until I went to collage. While I was there, I met another lady who also had albinism. Her name was Jennifer and she became a very close friend to me. She made me realize that being an albino was not the end of the world, and that people will think what they will of you regardless if you are an albino or not. She taught me how to be more confident and not so bitter. I am forever grateful to her. She changed my life. In fact when I went to collage everyone thought we were sisters. And in my eyes we were. Now I have lots of friends who are albinos and I know that I am not the only one out there that lacks pigment in my hair,skin, and eyes.
So yeah being an albino is to me is not so abnormal. It’s just who I am and I am grateful that my condition does not cause me physical pain. When I was a child I allowed it to cause me emotional pain, but by the grace of God I am a changed person because of the choices I made in my life. I know that I can be used of God no matter what type of physical condition I may be in, and to be quite honest, I am glad for how the Lord created me. So after reading this please don’t feel sorry for me, but celebrate with me that I am alive and well and that I can live a brilliant life and not have to feel sorry for myself.
” I can die as fast as possible or I can live a brilliant life.”
What an amazing and inspiring quote. So what exactly does that mean to you? For me it means I can either feel sorry for myself or live my life to the fullest and be content with how God created me. I sometimes get very discouraged with being an Albino and with being legally blind. I am not one to feel sorry for myself on a regular basis but I am human and yes, I do get discouraged because I can’t see as well as others. However, there are people out there that wish the only thing they had to deal with is being seeing impaired. Quotes like the one I stated above reminds us of how grateful we should be and how we should make the best of our lives.What does it mean to make the best of ourselves? To me it simply means to take what God has given you and use it for His Glory and Honor. I can only speak for myself, however, there were times in my life when I just didn’t think God could use me. I had to realize that it was not me that could accomplish anything on my own, but only by God’s grace and mercy that I could do anything. We are all in the same boat, just because I may not know what you may experience doesn’t mean that you are enduring more hardship then me. It just means that each and everyone of us has a different story to write, and fulfill. We can either sit and stare at our life and never put anything in our book of life, or we can go out and live our lives and accomplish things that not only please God, but also at the same time be an encouragement to those around us. We do not live our lives unto ourselves, we effect anyone we come within contact. I am not an amazing person but I want to live an amazing life. Therefore I will live my life brilliantly. How about you? Will you live your life brilliantly or just die fast? No one can make that choice for you, only you can. So make the right one today.
Hi I can’t believe I’m doing this. I am so totally new at this so be patient. I don’t even know what I am going to blog about, so just bear with me and I will make the best of it. I suppose I shall tell you a little about myself. I was born outside of Seoul Korea, and was abandoned at 6 months of age. I was taken to a hospital for one year, then I went to a foster home in Korea called the Eastern Social Welfare Society ran by Dr. Kim . Anyhow I was adopted at 22 months of age and grew up in a Christian family. I went to Hyles Anderson Collage as a young person, met my wonderful Husband and now have two beautiful children. I always thought my life to be interesting and unique. Not only am I Korean but I also have a genetic disorder called Albinism. I lack pigment in my eyes, skin, and hair. I actually am quite lucky because I have blue eyes. I am legally blind but I can see colors very well, and I can read fine print if I wear bifocals I love to cook, scrapbook, make cards, spend time with my kids, and play games on facebook. I am not sure what exactly I am going to blog about, so perhaps you can give me an idea. I am sure I will think of something before too long. Well that ‘s all for tonight. . I am interested in knowing anyone out there who also might have albinism, or who is Asian and also has albinism. I don’t know anything about my biological parents but I do have a few friends who are Asian and also have Albinism So if you are out there, leave a comment, and I’ll read it.
Everything Joy 